The airport in Amsterdam was shockingly quiet. It seemed to be devoid of the loud drone one would expect to be bombarded with from the thousands of people rushing throughout the day. The countless voices and footsteps inexplicably amplified the calm ambiance of the airport. Being exhausted might have warped my senses enough look at everything that way.
Shoppers eyed the kiosks and stores, taking in the scents of the perfumes and looking for the best deals. Kids were squealing as their parents wheeled them around on baggage carts. A different language struck one's ear before being overtaken by another. Almost everybody moved in a random yet purposeful fashion. They gave the impression that they knew exactly what to do and when to do it.
I wasn't one of them. After more than thirty hours of waiting and flying, it was extremely difficult to muster any excitement for being hours away from Denmark. An episode of insomnia in the past few days turned the irritation into a seething anger and distress. And when you feel down, it's tempting to start dwelling on the negatives.
I did that for a while. The trip so far had been pretty simple, but in this airport I had several questions that nobody could answer. The worst was when I approached a group of people, hoping at least one person had some useful advice. After hearing my questions, they just smirked and laughed and walked away. Already confused, it hit me hard. Indignant. Fuming. Fists clenched. Pissed off. Any of these words could have described how I felt.
It was the perfect moment for a mental huddle. "Okay, those were some Grade A douche-bags, but it doesn't mean the next person will be. Keep trying." Repeating it helped me focus. Eventually I found some other exchange students and had my concerns addressed. Whew.
Still, my thoughts kept focusing on the douche-bags. I went for a small circuit around the airport and a quick meal. Maybe that'd make it better. At first I trudged past the gates and stores. The weariness was smacking me in the face. Then something sparked.
While in line for some food, someone close by caught my attention. A really beautiful girl. The urge to talk to her motivated me and I tapped her on the shoulder. I said the first thing that came to mind and we began a conversation. She turned out to be from Denmark, and we traded a couple of words in Danish. It wasn't the ideal chat, being jet lagged and looking crappy. Nevertheless it was great to go for it.
I was starting to feeling excited and sociable again. Getting to the front of the line, I messed up my order and didn't understand the cashier's Dutch accent. The guy next to me chuckled about it and I joined him. We then had a small discussion about how restaurants and fast food worked in European airports.
Cool, that wasn't so bad. They were friendly. I actually suggested to the Danish girl that we sit down and continue talking, and she said sure. We settled a place to meet, and I ran out for 30 seconds to check the flight monitor. When I came back, I couldn't locate her in the scramble of various people.
It wasn't a big deal. My attitude was perky from having fun with it all. Later a kind man offered to take my food tray to the trash after giving an enthusiastic greeting in Dutch and English. The weight was slowly being lifted.
Then I recalled the woman I met on the flight to Amsterdam. She was a French speaking nurse from Switzerland who had lived in Brazil and the Philippines for several years each. We went over philosophy, dating, movies, environmentalism, food and more during our time together. We built such a solid rapport that she invited me to stay with her family if I visited her someday.
Experiences like those made it worthwhile to put myself out there despite being in a foul mood or a mundane situation. It can be tough to press on when you're feeling upset, but you gain so much more from challenging yourself to actually get up and do something about it. Anybody can wallow. I often subconsciously seek the easiest and safest route in life, and then my conscious mind kicks in and tells me to stop being a such a weenie. Okay, it's not that simple of a process, more of a daunting undertaking that tests your resilience. You have to acknowledge your crappy feelings as well as that they're not permanent. They'll go away eventually, so it's more beneficial for you to move past them now. My social skills and relationships, with friends and strangers, who sometimes become new friends, have been seriously improved by maintaining that attitude.
Most human beings are sincere and kind. They'll provide what they can for you if you're willing to do the same. It was tough sticking with that thought in Amsterdam because my emotions were aggravating me, but it was the truth and will remain so.
I wanted to post this because it should be a handy tidbit to go back to in the next few months. Some of the days in our lives will suck, so we might as well reduce the suckiness by being more self-aware of ourselves and the world.
The next post will be about my exchange in Denmark. It's been about six days since arriving there, and some cool stuff deserves to be mentioned. It should be fairly long, or short...whatever length it is, it should be interesting. You have a kinda sorta promise.
Photo Credit: Patrick Emerson
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